No Reason

I have yet to experience the need to run.  I don't have that runner's high.  I don't feel badly if I don't get to go for a run.

On the other hand, I usually do feel better after a run.

I didn't want to go for a run today.  I had a bunch of excuses (although admittedly, none were very good excuses), but I didn't have a reason.  So I ran.

Still, since I really didn't want to run I used my "April Challenge" out.  I only ran one mile.  But it was a beautiful mile on a gorgeous spring day on a small New England island.  Then I took my dog for a walk.  

So, I didn't need to run, but I am glad I did.

Boston

I will never qualify for Boston.

I will never run a marathon.

I may never run another half marathon.

But I ran today.

I ran my 2.26 mile route.  I ran without intervals.  I ran without stopping.

I ran without fear.

While I was running I thought about all of the races when my children and I stood at the finish line cheering on Brian.

And all of the times our roles were reversed and they stood at the finish line waiting for me.

I listened to my breathing. I felt my feet hit the pavement.  

I ran into a cold headwind. I ran up the hills.  I ran with my calves burning.

I waved to the cars as they passed.  Few waved back.  They didn't know why I ran.  That's okay.  I knew.

I ran because I could.

Afraid on Foreign Soil

I ran today.  I ran my usual route.  Or what had been my usual 2.25 mile loop.  Today was different.  Today, I ran afraid.

• I ran afraid because nothing looked familiar.  It had been so long since I ran this loop that everything looked foreign.  All of the trees were bare. I could see houses that I couldn't see before.  Houses had been built in my absence.  Houses had been torn down and renovated.  It was not my usual route.
• I ran afraid because I was only doing two and a quarter miles; three would have added another hill.
• I ran afraid to run too fast.  I didn't want to tire out.  I ran with intervals
• I ran afraid that the run and the weather front would conspire to cause another migraine.
• I ran afraid that the road back was too long and too hard.

But this I know:

• The foreign becomes familiar.
• Two becomes three, then four, then five...
• Slow becomes fast.
• You can only prepare yourself the best you can; you cannot control the weather.
• The road back is the right road.  

So for today, I ran.  I ran with fears and I ran with doubts, but I ran .  

I will not, however, tell you my time.